Avoiding Communication Breakdown
Clear communication is key to healthy relationships, but it's not always easy. Some of the common problems include:
- Defensiveness: Becoming defensive instead of listening to your partner’s point of view can make arguments worse and prevent problems from getting solved.
- Shutting down emotionally: Withdrawing from conversations can make your partner feel ignored and rejected, which makes communication breakdowns even worse.
- Assuming your partner can mind read: Believing your partner knows what you’re thinking or feeling without expressing it clearly can lead to misunderstandings and frustration.
- Criticising instead of giving constructive feedback: Criticising your partner’s character instead of addressing specific behaviours can be hurtful and damaging to the relationship.
- Ignoring difficult topics: Sweeping issues under the carpet can create resentment and distance in your relationship.
Techniques for clear, compassionate, and effective communication include:
- Showing empathy: Try to show that you understand your partner’s feelings and point of view, even if you don’t agree with them.
- Active listening: Practice this by giving your partner your full attention, summarising what they say, and validating their emotions.
- Taking a break when necessary: If things get too heated, agree to cool off and talk later when both of you are calmer.
- Use “I” statements: Express your thoughts and feelings using “I” rather than “you” to avoid blaming your partner.
- Focusing on understanding: Instead of trying to win arguments try to understand your partner’s point of view.
